Sometimes the unexpected happens and we are left standing with everything we thought we could depend on, in shambles all around us. Sound familiar? At this point we have all realized that there aren't a whole lot of certainties in the normal we use to have. Coping with loss and the unknown has been hard for a lot of moms, and I want you to know you aren't alone.
I also want you to know that it doesn't have to be so hard. There are ways to thrive during loss, and there is a way to have normalcy even when what use to be, is no longer. Plus, in this episode I am give you a set of questions you can use to help guide you to getting back to wholesome feelings.
Your situation may not be ideal, but your attitude can be.
Listen below for the entire episode on The Systemize Your Life Podcast
How am I feeling okay right now?
My Fundamental Needs System is my back bone - I call it my Great 8 and even in times of hardship I am still focussed on the same with fundamental tasks that help me stay aligned with my true self.
My foundation in not rooted in a paycheck - Yes, I know bills need to be paid but that is why you work your tail off to eat rice and beans and beans and rice and save for a rainy day so when these times hit you can float a check or two without wondering how to feed your family. I also know many stores are hiring right now for stocking and other essential needs. Point is, be prepared and be open to doing what it takes to pay them bills.
I have faith that everything is already worked out for the good - Having my entire life rooted in the belief that all things are going to work out for the greater good allows me to feel peace in hard times.
Blaine and I are on the same page - We are communicating regularly to make sure our intentions and emotions are being met and understood. Stressful times call for more team meetings and more check-ins, and sometimes more talking than we want, but it is absolutely necessary.
What Can you d0 to feel okay and find a new normal?
Know your fundamental needs - I have a workbook that guides you through this entire process. Download it here.
Plan day by day or week by week - I have a free roadmap that teaches you the exact steps to take in order to build a framework that can support any schedule you have.
Stay on the same page as your spouse - This entire blog post is dedicated to teaching you exactly how me and Blaine stay connected on a weekly basis.
Leaning in to what is working and get rid of what isn’t - the most important thing you can do right now is self-inventory. You have to be looking out for the things that are working, just as much for what isn't working. Take physical notes on a weekly basis when you sit down to plan on what did and didn't work the week before so you can shift as needed.
Writing has been suggested by every counselor, psychologist, mediation leader, new age leader, religious figure, and successful person from the beginning of time. Journaling your feelings and thoughts is a source of power, that at first can feel uncomfortable. Yet, the magical transformations that comes with each and every day is something you can't deny.
Here are six prompts to help you cope with your current loss of normalcy.
Write down every day your answers to these questions and read them back to yourself. Any time your thoughts turn negative repeat the positive feelings you get after journaling to foster the mental environment you use to feel with life when it was predictable?
Why am I hurting?
What are my fears?
What do I need to survive?
What would it take for me to not feel this way?
What is stopping me from feeling joy in this moment?
What am I in control of?