I recently created a poll inside my Facebook group to ask the women who are working their tail off to create massive productivity in their motherhood and their business what one system they would really really love to see me provide ….. and one of the top answers that was created by one of the members???
How to carve out time to be unproductive.
I nearly cried. Not because I was so sad, but because I knew immediately that I was sitting on a gold mine topic. This is absolutely worthy of a good note in your notebook, specially if you are feeling like a slave to the never ending to do lists in your life. You are absolutely going to love this!
Listen below for the entire episode on The Systemize Your Life Podcast
How to carve out time to be unproductive
I look around and observe moms in person, moms in other Facebook groups. Moms posts in the comments and they are all dying to be bosses and retire their husbands and make their dreams come true…and I want to be there too. I really do, but what I dont want to do in the process is miss out on my life.
Being a slave to the ideas in my mind robs me from enjoying my life. I dont think women are too far off from the classic stereotypical role men have been labeled with for decades of working so much that they miss their kids growing up.
Yes I know we are working from home….and we are with our kids all the time. But are you TRULY not working, ever, and just BEING with your family?
Todays episode is going to bear a very practical approach to create time to slow dow. I have been using this system to stay grounded and present over the past year as my company has grown from this simple idea into a full force business.
You can follow along in there major phases:
ONE: Mindset and Mantra
TWO: Preparation and Planning
THREE: Leaning In
Work on my mental framework when comparing myself to where everyone else is
When we think about not working, the anxiety rises. Or when we aren’t working all we can think about is how much we have to get done.
How can we flip that script? What is the opposite of those feelings. What happens if you slow down for enough time each day to hear yourself think . And breathe. To play present with your kids, or listen to their day over dinner at the table?
Here is one of my favorite mantras
If you are a student inside of my SYP course (here) you know my mantra is “Slow is the pace that greatness grows”
Lets rattle off a few things that take a long time a very long time to build:
The Great Wall of china
The Space Shuttle
The Home you live in
The adults you are raising
The car you are paying off
The book you are writing …..
You see… there literally is NOTHING great ever created overnight . Or a day. It takes decades to produce fruit. We see everyone else flashy end result on social media and compare. It makes us want to work relentlessly to “catch up”. Your journey is beautiful and exactly where it is suppose to be.
So what I am trying to make very clear is that when it comes to learning the art of being unproductive the first step in that system is to create a health mindset with realistic expectations of your output. Solidify a mantra that you can repeat to yourself when you begin to cycle through the anxiety of wanting to work 24/7.
Look, we all know that I love to plan. But lets be real. If you want to succeed at running your motherhood and your business in a healthy way, you need to plan for time to restore yourself.
Here is when I schedule in down time in my day, and my week.
Every night is down time for me. Its tech free and I plug in to a good book with low lights, some oils, maybe a bath, may be hot tea, my husband and I chat. And I take time to turn in ward. I choose to use the TV one day a week to jus VEG. That too can be my down time. But if I am ever using technology to help me avoid quiet down time alone with myself then I know that there is a problem.
TV is entertainment. And that is all good but I never use the tv to help me unwind. It’s a habit that distracts you from listening to your inner self , which can be a very slippery slope.
I also schedule in down time one a month to go out with my friends. I have two really close friends that also run their own companies and we put on the calendar once month to meet and just talk.
The other place I routinely schedule in down time is every weekend. I try my very best to honor a Sabbath. Sometime I dont get it all done on Saturday and have to run to the store on Sunday, or we have to clean on Sunday. But for the most part I truly try and lay low and just feel in to my family and home on the weekends. I come off social media Friday through Sunday to ensure Im not slipping into a rabbit hole.
The last thing I want to add in here is not over scheduling your children. Teaching your kids that Sundays and every evening are reserved for calm and quiet is absolutely necessary. I still remember when I wasn’t allowed to call my friends at home after 5pm or on Sundays because it was family time. Pretty sure cell phones and many other things contributed to that change but I absolutely believe you can make it a priority in you home regardless.
I know this is much easier said than done. A lot of you and even myself sometimes are so overwhelmed by what we feel like needs to be done that we get to this time and space where we are suppose to do nothing and we panic.
This is why I call this step “leaning in” . I really want you to use that mantra you created and begin to reprogram those thoughts.
If you know your time is well mapped out, and this isnt a race to be where the other woman is, and you believe DEEPLY in the notion that god is in control…then what else do you need?
You need practice. You need to show up to this 1-2 hours every night and not try and fit in one more thing on your computer. You need to practice saying your mantra during a 5-10 min breathing mediation each morning.
YOU must practice your workflow every single week.
You see…. I know that if I worked harder it wouldn’t turn out better. I truly believe that. Do I have to use this very system to help me from time to time? I do.
Its an art. A practice. And this is the system I use to help me dial in on creating time to slow down.